Via Kelly Hicks Design
Inspired by Joanna and Abbey, I’m going to give you the lowdown on pregnancy from my experience. Now that I have two (a 2.5 year-old and a 5-week-old), things are even more confusing and yet clearer. I hope you find these tips helpful, and please share your own as well! There is still much I will do differently next time (if there is a next time!).
Resources
Friends will throw their tattered used books at you—take what you want but don’t waste your time. I didn’t get much out of the What to Expect series, and I surprised myself when I actually read more than one page from Hypnobirthing and Birthing From Within. I also laughed when my mom bought me The Modern Girl’s Guide to Motherhood, but it had random practical tips that I hadn’t thought of, for pregnancy and beyond. Some websites, like BabyCenter, are great, but can easily freak you out (forums=crazy ladies). More than anything though, since I come from a big family with lots of children, my best resources were a phone call away. My mom, aunts, cousins, etc showered me with the nitty gritty details on everything from morning sickness and heartburn, to episitomies and epidurals. Take advantage of friends and family—ask questions! The variation of experiences, but also the common denominators, really interested and reassured me.
*For the Dads: it’s doubtful you’ll get him to research ahead of time, but once baby arrives, a great first-time dad book that got passed around Lovah’s office was Crawling: A Father’s First Year. And I thought only girls did that.
Eating
When I was pregnant with Baby #1, I was terrified of everything. Including sugar (gestational diabetes!), deli meat (Lysteria!), and cheese (if it’s not pasteurized we’ll all die!). I went 40 weeks without a sip of wine (I know what you’re thinking). With Baby #2, I went all Matthew McConaughey on food: “Alright alright alright, pass them rolls, ladies.” I ate EVERYTHING. Sugar (Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream!), deli meat, cheeses, a half glass of wine with dinner (after the first trimester), soft-boiled eggs, you name it. With #1 I craved fresh stone fruits, with #2 I craved tomatoes and yogurt (not together). If my sister was to get pregnant tomorrow, I would stock her with crackers, bubbly water (add cranberry juice and a squeeze of lime and it’s a party!), fresh fruit, drinkable yogurt (I often snuck to the fridge in my underwear at 3am to swig it), and boxes and boxes of cereal (Special K and GrapeNuts!).
*My friend who is 36 weeks pregnant at the moment says Whole Foods now pasteurizes ALL their Brie cheeses. Score!
Morning Sickness
I was surprised that I was NEVER sick in the mornings. Always around 5 or 6pm, when I’d take pathetic bites from an apple and moan on the couch. Do as I didn’t: eat! Lay down and force crackers until you feel human again. I never heard about coconut milk but wish I had. Thankfully, mine went away with both pregnancies by 15 weeks.
Clothes
I managed to jerry-rig my pants up until 5 or 6 months with both boys by looping an elastic hairband through the hole and around the button. Then I spent a little at Gap and Pea in the Pod, but not too much. I think it’s such a waste of money—trust me, you will not want to see these clothes again—for such a quick period. I was a big fan of black yoga pants and lightweight cotton tees. I only had to work in an office twice a week during this pregnancy, so I didn’t need much formalwear. Oh yeah, comfy comfy shoes are a must. Jessica Simpson and all her talk about heels…wha?!
Taboos
I found out very quickly what NOT to talk about when pregnant and then as a mother. Unless you’re with a close friend or someone you want to debate with for hours, don’t go near: natural vs. drug-assisted childbirth, circumcision, breastfeeding, and preschool. (Yes, preschool. Just you wait!) Do what you want for yourself and your family, and don’t judge others. I had concrete opinions on certain things until I had a second one and realized all babies are completely different. What works for some may not work for others.
Cozy Cozy Cozy Things!
Again, if I were to make a pregnancy basket for my sister or cousin tomorrow, I’d fill it with: yummy tea, comfy shoes, a black wrap cardigan that goes over everything, a silk pillowcase for those sweaty/uncomfortable/insomnia nights, these amazing chewy cookies for an afternoon treat with less guilt, a bottle of Palmer’s Cocoa Butter, a bedside carafe-and-glass set for those parched moments in the night, and a delicious drama on DVD for solo relaxing time.
General Tips and What I Wish I Had Known
1. More than anything, go with your gut. There are so many resources out there these days, which is wonderful and powerful, but also take advantage of your natural instincts. If you want drugs, get ‘em baby! If you’d prefer to make your own baby food, pull out that blender. If you’re into the family bed, good luck with that. (Kidding!) It’s up to you to take all the knowledge given to you, put it in your back pocket, and roll up your sleeves. I try to do as my parents did (with a little less sugar), focus on patience, and go with the flow.
2. Each pregnancy is totally different. First baby, easy! Second, hard! I had zero heartburn with the first, every day with the second. I had leg cramps in the middle of the night with both, a funny taste in my mouth with the first, and major rib-kicking with the second.
3. I had an epidural with my first, nothing with my second. I will say that the first was a piece of cake with a rough recovery, and the natural was insanely painful (I thought contractions were fine and the pushing was torture, but luckily had an extremely fast labor) with an amazing recovery. I walked down the hall, didn’t have to use ice for swelling, and went home less than 24 hours later. I don’t have a strong stance on either one, and who knows what will happen if I have another. My pregnant friend said, “I wish someone would just punch me in the face and when I wake up, the baby is in my arms.” I was like, “That’s called an epidural.” Do whatever you want, you’ll be fine either way.
4. Yucky stuff happens. You may or may not poo during labor, but honestly it’s the last thing you’ll worry about in the moment (and the hospital staff won’t bat an eye should it happen). You will bleed, like a heavy period, for a good 4-6 weeks post-birth. No one told me that and it was a total surprise. Also, take the stool softeners they give you in the hospital. Trust me.
5. Be gentle to yourself. Don’t work out like a fiend or the way you used to, allow yourself treats in moderation, sleep in (it may be the last time you’ll sleep past 8am for years), tune out unnecessary stress, chill out. You need the time to charge up for what’s to come.
6. Savor it! Keep a journal of what’s going on with your body, in your day-to-day life, in the world. Have your partner write in it too (Lovah’s entries were hysterical—already trying to one-up me to the kids!). Go to the movies, go on long walks, enjoy uninterrupted meals for the last time (ha! But no, really).
So you just had a baby. Now what? Continue reading →
